“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.
Even after supposedly being settled in life, I still am clueless about what I want from life and have many of the figs that Slyvia Plath talks about.Also with each passing year they are withering away. As a child I wanted to be a psychiatrist and I recall having written a poem about it in class 7.Then later an uncle, who is an astrologer, told me I'll make a good lawyer after seeing my horoscope.I decided then if my stars have destined me to be a lawyer I should try to become one. AllyMcBeal , the show about a corporate lawyer further fuelled this dream.And then came class 12 and I ended up taking exams for many streams -law,engineering,arts,management . After this I guess I stopped worrying about what I want and went with the flow and here I am now a software engineer, not sure if this was even a fig that I wanted.
I am always in a dilemma whether letting things be and going with the flow is a sign of mediocrity-settling for the 'ordinary' or is this what people call stability and inner peace? I can't say I have a burning ambition to be extraordinary, but if I did have some such skills now would be a good time to know it:)
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.
Even after supposedly being settled in life, I still am clueless about what I want from life and have many of the figs that Slyvia Plath talks about.Also with each passing year they are withering away. As a child I wanted to be a psychiatrist and I recall having written a poem about it in class 7.Then later an uncle, who is an astrologer, told me I'll make a good lawyer after seeing my horoscope.I decided then if my stars have destined me to be a lawyer I should try to become one. AllyMcBeal , the show about a corporate lawyer further fuelled this dream.And then came class 12 and I ended up taking exams for many streams -law,engineering,arts,management . After this I guess I stopped worrying about what I want and went with the flow and here I am now a software engineer, not sure if this was even a fig that I wanted.
I am always in a dilemma whether letting things be and going with the flow is a sign of mediocrity-settling for the 'ordinary' or is this what people call stability and inner peace? I can't say I have a burning ambition to be extraordinary, but if I did have some such skills now would be a good time to know it:)
